Cuz the Beat plus the Melody...

No matter how i look at it, it's been like a dream.
Distorted beyond vision, the line of reality unseen.



i can't write anymore. maybe ill come back and finis this soon.



p.s. how sudden people die sometimes. I really miss you Mr. Seba Jun. Hard to believe you won't be putting the world into perspective anymore. I'm glad we got a chance to pay tribute through Wasabi. I hope you were listening. Maybe someday, wherever you are, we'll meet for the first time.

r.i.p. Nujabes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2O0kuoiAm2A

Looking, Searching, Seeking, Waiting...?

a blog was meant for me to post my thoughts, so ima post my thoughts before i sleep.
fucking hella tired but mind running with thoughts. I just wanna be happy you know? I mean, who doens't wanna be happy, but is it wrong to wanna base my life off of happiness? Is happiness ever permanent?

On a side note, i think dank gives me more courage than alcohol. I do shit i normally wouldn't do if i wasn't high. It was nice today still.

But now, i just got to thinking, if there really is someone out there, someone i will find to be ultra-spectacularly-amazingtasticaly- special. SHit. i neeeeeed to snooze.

r.wang

Weird. =/

Have you ever told yourself to stop doing something, and you do manage for a while, but then revert back to your old ways? and there was a reason to you stopping whatever thing u were doing in the past? But even with all that, its hard to stop. But I really wanna stop, i don't wanna be lingering on the same shit forever. But if i stop this, what do i turn to next? Am i pussying out and just sticking with whatever's easy? Maybe I am; I dunno. But its time to change, time to work on something new, make a new progress; build a new bridge. This worlds big; I gotta keep exploring.

r.wang.

p.s. one huge metaphor.

I been cold. I dunno how long this frozen state has been, but i been cold; been cold towards myself, been cold towards others, been cold in general. But not to my nigz (no racial anything meant). These guys really just downright make me laugh. One thing I've learned, if waters been sitting in a bottle, and its been opened for half drank from a month ago, don't touch that shit lol..


But my hearts been protective since; soon as some shit happens, some shit don't work; "...*kiss teeth*... trick..." and i just don't feel the want, the want to be warm. now there's a difference between being polite and being warm to someone. Its diff, u can tell; Its like family and strangers. Either way, things change: change soon.

and yesterday after coming home from hoopdome. walking through highland, moon was full, field was icy. and the moon reflecting light off the ice was so beautiful. I really regret not getting my camera and going back out to take the picture. It was beautiful..


r.wang

Step back, Look around; Every Aspect; Many Voices.

So yesterday, after I took some time to go to school early for tutorials in math, I ended up in the music room working with the mic. sighs.. really not that good at singing, but working with words definitely makes my day. Something bout writing verses and hearing the flow; feeling every syllable roll off my tongue gives me an empowering feeling. Music is food for the soul. Hopefully i get something good made soon.

Either way, for lunch, i ended up at Metro Square. BBQ duck + pork, some soup, soy bean milk and a strawberry Popsicle. Dam.

But what really made my day was at T&T 5 mins after. Leather peacoat, skinny jeans, chucks, and a casual unassuming air as she brushed her hair casually away from her face. Have i mentioned before how sexy that is when a girl just carelessly brushes her hair back? well, some girls :). I was merely wandering around the baked goods section when i made eye contact. She looked at me, not the kind of wavering passing gaze, but a look. I first thought she was too old, 20s at least. So i wandered off again. Next, I see this girl again at the cold appetizers place, eye contact again, but this time she's with a fat dude. Thought it was her boyfriend and all, and inside my head "fuuuuuuuuuck". And now times pretty much up, my mom was done her massage stuff, so i grabbed a few boxes of Melona Popsicles and lined up. I see her and the man a few spots in front in the line beside mine. She brushed her hair back in that sexy lazy tired whatever u wanna call it way, and eye contact again. This time i get a good look, realized she's around my age. and the dude was her dad (i need contacts for real..). Ended up not doing shit, she got stuff done, dipped. So i walk out, walk a few steps and then a car passes by me: she's sitting in the backseat, eye contact again and her daddy drives off. So what did i do? nothing. Just watched another pretty girl stroll out of my life. lol.

No biggie really. A million to one chance I'll see her again, but then 999,900 in a a million chance I'll see another pretty lady tmr.

side note: jealousy for things you don't even want is STUPID. real TALKS, TRICKS.

Song of the moment: Sky is Falling by Nujabes (Ft. C.L. Smooth)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGPvqaxShvo


r.wang

Forsake.

What productive facebook time equals.



a spark once again appearing meticulously,
yet you won't see or want this feeling from me.

It's something that's not written in my fate or design,
feelings in my heart that oscillates with time.

Deep as the ocean on a groove boat I'm coasting,
astray from a path but what path am i hoping,
to follow to ride out the waters all the same,
each direction is a new path new things to gain.

See in fact its all really pretty simple,
you ain't available while im still single,
not that im jealous or anything like that,
just what i felt was special and that is a fact.

Definitely not saying I haven't strayed away,
but something tonight made my mind decay,
if i didn't hesitate to find you that day,
we'd be together but maybe its all forsay.

r.wang

Self - Centered.

AS people we constantly worry about ourselves. I understand, its quite natural to think about yourself first off, because you know how u feel, and not exactly how others regard such matters.

But dam, when there's a little connection to someone, and they write something, I can't help but wonder: is it about me?

but then again, either way, does it really matter? If its important and is about you they would talk about it right?

Anyways, been a heck of a day, heads dizzy.

Happy soon to be Bday to Du!

Song of the moment:

Different Galaxies by Dumbfoundead ft. Sam Ock

peace
r.wang

Fuck it.

Right now, I'm like the Titanic in panic,
Miracles happen when you really don't plan it.
But i'm trying to plan sitting in frustration,
Thinking about love, that now seems to ancient.
Why am i mad?
Why am i lonely?
I'm looking at myself thinking, I don't know me.
You know how that feels to not know urself?
How can I love when i dunno what i felt?
How can i expect to be loved when I'm cold,
Putting on a smile like a paint coat,
Covering the bare wall that's poison inside,
Cause negativity is infectious, so avoid mine.

My reality sets in..

Fuck it, let's do some math.